Irving McKinnon is a hitwizard of hyperbole.

Went to check out the new Nimbus 1500 today. Blokes at the pitch have been talking about it being in development for months.

Good Godric it's fast. Quality Quidditch Supplies let me take it for a spin, being that I am Irving McKinnon and all. They don't just let anyone test those. Thing brakes like you wouldn't believe and takes corners like a charm. Unreal, man. Completely unreal. Had to get one for myself. Rest of the team better as well. It's going to revolutionise the Quidditch world I just know it. Came out of a feint and turned on a knut with just the slightest pressure. Swear it's got some sort of self-sustaining occlumency charm and just read my mind. Flipping sweet. Can't wait to break mine in tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow. Best of luck to those of you trying out, unless you're auditioning anywhere other than Portree. In which case I hope all your bludgers are rogue and brooms wonky.

Just kidding. Better competition=better games. Plus, when we whip all your arses want to say we beat the best. Have at it. Can't wait to see the rosters come out.

Neil.

Hypothetically: you're caught between the fittest girl you know and the sweetest girl you know. What do you do?

You know, everyone is going on about the two DEATH EATERS dying, but what about the fucking AURORS they nearly killed?

Neil.

I've got something to tell you.

The offseason.. seems I've got too much time on my hands and a few extra pounds around the middle. Tryouts next week, the season is sneaking up on me. Best get to training. Prides are taking home the cup this year.

Don't like this bollocks about restricting travel and shit anymore than my brother so colourfully spelled out earlier either. Load of tosh.

Daniel Goldstein

Ready, mate?

Ellie, you need to staff some security at your pub. I can't be around all the time to look intimidating and discouraging and break up fights.

Pick up Quidditch game. Pride's practice pitch. If you're not a complete bastard, you can come. Yaxl

And if you're not a complete tosser maybe I'll even pick you for my team.

Irving, Neil & Fabian

Prewett. We need to have a talk.

As Mrs. Nott and the stick up her arse so eloquently told us last night, she is just so lucky to have her family and friends. Well, let me tell you that recent events have reminded me I'm lucky too, Elise.

I'm lucky to have family who love each other enough to stick together through the good & bad, bail, and the absolute shocking. Family and friends who aren't sick & twisted murderers in their spare time. Family who doesn't disown or devalue someone simply because they make an unpopular choice. Family who is not afraid to speak their minds or stand up for what they believe is right. I love my friends and family too, and I can say that without looking down my sodding nose at everyone.

Maybe I didn't get to see her down to aisle in a white dress with all the pomp and circumstance you purebloods love, but fuck it. It's not about that. It's about love and that's worth more than all your bullshite, backwards rules and inbreeding. So cheers, baby sister- Mrs. Prewett, and congratu-fucking-lations!

Fabian & Marlene Prewett. How about that?

Since you're planning to skip town again here's a little rundown on your debt piling up from previous benders, Rob.

- 1500 galleons in bail
- 1750 galleons in medical bills
- 427 galleons and 16 sickles in bribe money (including 35 galleons to one bearded woman at the circus)
- 20 galleons and 2 knuts for accidentally taking the Night Bus around the country(multiple times)
- 165 galleons in building repairs from crashing in flight at Madame Puddifoot's
- 24 galleons on a trashed hotel room in Monte Carlo
- 35 galleons and 94 knuts for repairs to a bathtub including fire damage after waking up next to a dragon
- 10 galleons and 5 sickles for unpaid bartab
- 94 sickles for leopard food
- 200 galleons in rent
- 17 galleons for mime troupe sent to me for my birthday
- 1367 galleons in unpaid gambling debt

Daniel Goldstein.

Hey, mate! You said you knew where the Pride's practice pitch is located. Well, meet me there at 3 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Catriona has offered to run drills with you after practice as well.

Queenie.

Hey, beau How's your stomach, pet? Strong enough for drinks yet?

What does Fenrir Greyback want with a head anyway? Not that I'm condoning terrorising innocent people and taking hostages, but if I was going to.. I'd ask for something way cooler, and less creepy than a severed head. Like ice cream or a new boat. Man(wolf, whatever he is) is a maniac.

Tickets for play-offs are on sale TODAY! Get yours fast if you want to see the Prides playing for the cup! Which, of course, you do.

McKinnons + Joey.

Already bought up a block of the best tickets available for you lot. You'll all be there, of course?

Oh and one for the Prewett, Marlie.

Neil

After spending the day with Lucy and Evie I am convinced more than ever you can not have fathered something as perfect as those two little girls. Not that I mean anything untoward of Nellie. I am simply convinced there was some cosmic, magical mix up. Anyhow, think you can get away for a pint this weekend?

Joey.

Glad you're alright. Try to stay away from giants, yeah? And maybe don't get another flat in Tinworth.

Am only slightly disappointed Robbie got a picture after Uncle Irv spent the day baiting fish hooks and buying ice cream. I am convinced you bribed her somehow, little brother. I don't even have dinner tonight because Lucy insisted on throwing everything back. However, my nieces are the most amazing girls in the world and there is nothing you can say to dissuade this.

I was in Quality Quidditch supplies yesterday. New gloves, see; playoffs are coming up. And anyhow I heard a startling rumour that along with the curfew we'll all be required to carry id cards of a sort. Apparently Gringott's won't service you without it; can't even get seated at Puddifoot's. (That will put a damper on many a young couple at Hogwarts.) I did take issue with the idea they could search my home simply because I do not have it on me. But alas, what do I, or half the country, know anyway, eh? If we're all too thick to understand a few big words we're probably too thick to know our rights.

I'm not opposed to carrying an id card, because hey, what's it really but a small piece of plastic to put in my pocketbook. Not especially troubling or cumbersome, but if the Ministry thinks they'll be searching my home without due cause..

Neil

I've got leave from practice until Tuesday next. Though I hope to get done and have him back before then. Vegas isn't that big, right? Finding one prodigal wizard shouldn't be too hard. When do we leave?

I find it amusing how quickly Purists are to condemn this Order of the Phoenix. Yet, Death Eaters, who have been around how many years now, they easily side-step with a, "Well, not all purebloods are Death Eaters" or "I don't know who they are." No, but you're sure as hell not condemning them either, are you?

I thought the Manifesto was a little uplifting myself really. A lot of flowery words and prose for freedom and equality, but better than telling us people are going to die unless we do what some man fashioning himself to be a lord says. Honestly, I've got no problem with vigilantes. If someone wants to put themselves in harms way to save my arse, well, I think that's pretty brave of them.

McKinnons.

Robbie back yet?

McKinnons

Right. Haven't seen you lot in ages. Robbie, Marlie if your walls really look like that I'm not coming 'round your flat any longer. I'd never be able to blink the spots away. And I guess that means its cold soup from Nellie or greasy pub take away from now on.

Neil, I've got that bat all sanded up when you're ready.

Quidditch playoffs are right around the corner. Pride's ready. We're all waiting with baited breath to see who we'll match up with. Personally, I hope it's Puddlemere. Might as well take out the best early I say. 'Sides the Cannons would be too easy and the whinging after? Never ending. Never was a team with such emotional fans as the Cannons.

Prewett, I'll take the lack of obituary to mean you survived those papercuts.

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